Been processing reading at the final Race Riot tour date all week
I read first, and there were technical difficulties, and weird weather (humidity and also major temperature drop) making my sinuses weird and dismantling my ability to project my voice and there was also my complete lack of physical grace
But, people who were both friends and strangers said very kind things to me about what I read, I said the word ‘colonialism’ as many times as I possibly could, I got supportive messages from friends who couldn’t be there that night, and Cary made and brought food for me, rightly anticipating that I’d arrive at the reading on a more or less empty stomach.
Bonus: it might have been more ideal to have gotten it done earlier, but, in the end, I managed to stay calm and successfully, carefully, and properly lay out a 40 page zine and get it photocopied that same day. AND show up that night with good hair. It’s called being a professional.
Maybe most importantly, it was the first time in a while that I did something/was involved with something really cool and really positive where I didn’t have an emotional meltdown/feel overwhelmed by regret over my parents not being there. It was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel alone after doing a reading.