It’s how you choose to see it, strength or human need.
Awesome: brunch, or really lunch, with Liz was everything I hoped it would be. I got to see her new place, meet the cat she recently rescued (Barbara, who is a typical cat who totally looks at you like, “why are you in my room?” when you go into Liz’s bedroom), and hear/see what she’s been working on. Her place seems comfortable, and I’m glad that she has a nice place to live while she tries to figure out what to do next.
Not so awesome: I was so happy to see her and talk to her, being with her felt like being at home. There aren’t very many people who make me feel that way. So now, I feel kind of extra lonely. And I don’t know what to start to do about it. But that’s a problem I’ve been struggling with for awhile; I’ve tried hard to change my thinking about this, I’ve tried to focus on other things. Right now I’m having one of those moments where it’s not working though.
I’m glad that I have a lot of stuff I’m supposed to be doing. The feminist zine conference is coming up, which means that I have a lot of writing to do. I owe TomTom some reviews, and need to work on them this week. I’ve been spending time with my amp again, and getting used to how it works and what I like in terms of gain settings, and looking into sustain pedals (this is totally Liz’s doing, DAMN HER), and thinking about tone is all oddly soothing to me. If only I could stop worrying about whether or not that’s enough.
